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I don't think my mom is even attempting to lie to herself anymore.

"I can change my schedule so I'm working when Ian's here."
"I have that Thursday off, oh shit! I totally forgot, I'm sorry. I can go out of the house and do errands. I'll find something to do."
"You're going to watch movies on that crap-ass TV? ...Oh, I suppose it wouldn't matter if the TV was blank. I'm dumb."

I'm frightened. I mean, I know my parents love Ian, but wow.

Nov. 16th, 2006

  • 11:20 PM

From a knitting forum

  • Aug. 10th, 2006 at 9:56 PM
This may be one of the most disgusting things I've ever read. A woman talking about asking her husband to let her buy yarn.

"He may let me buy the yarn (about $150) for another sweater I was eyeing, in one of the fall magazines. I think it was in vogue. Deal is if I lose the rest of the "baby fat" and get back to the size I used to be, a size that the sweater would actually look good in, then I can have the yarn to knit it as my reward."

There is so much wrong with this.

First. This is the very reason I go to school and plan to get a job. I refuse to be beholden to any man. I will always keep my finances seperate and I will never ask for a damn thing. I never have and I never will. Women on this forum talk about their "allowances" and getting "permission" for purchases. They post about how their "hubby" will be mad because they bought more yarn or that they hide new yarn purchases to avoid conflict. I find that truly disgusting, that you can be that dependent. I don't care if I even have little kids. I will always have my own income and have only myself to fall back on. I will never, ever hide things or fear an expenditure.

Second. If she loses weight, she can have something. It's like rewarding a child but even sicker. If you make yourself attractive to me, as your body has changed as a result of having my child, maybe then you'll be nice enough looking to be worthy of a pretty new ball of yarn. I've made a few comments in here about feeling ugly and hating myself and not deserving attention and/or food. But the only person that makes me feel like that is me. If any man ever made me feel I was anything less than perfect his ass would be on the curb and he could try to find himself the model that I am not. For what it's worth, mine is concerned that I'm losing too much weight. But when I gained 11 pounds last semester, did anyone care? No. And it did change. Because I changed for me. And I wanted to. Not to make someone ready to decide if I was worthy of the allocation of his funds. If I'm ever told "if you lose 5 pounds/cut your hair/wear different clothes/wear more makeup I'll buy you this" I'll backhand him before he finishes the sentence so hard that his jaw will shatter. I am not an 1800s housewife. I will never be inferior in any way, to anyone. Especially not someone who purports to love me.

Third. Women like this are invariably congratulated. This twisted idea of acceptability is not left to the eyes of one couple. It pervades society. This is what the radical feminists should be railing against. It is not pornography, rap videos, or the very essence of masculinity that is holding us down. It is what we continue to tolerate and what we feel we are entitled to no more than.

For once, this entry is public. I feel no desire to lock my feelings on this matter.

It's time.

  • Jun. 1st, 2006 at 4:04 PM
If anyone out there has or knows where to find any resources about how to initiate contact with a long-lost relative, particularly a father, as well as how to talk to other close relatives about your decision, please help.


  • Mar. 18th, 2006 at 12:08 AM
Relevant only to Yarmouth people: http://fc.yarmouth.k12.me.us/~mark_marstaller/Pictures04/ - Mark Marsteller uploaded pictures of his family to the YHS website. This is amazing.

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